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Well it's a new year with a bunch of new struggles. I'm still currently out of school until (hopefully only) March. I actually took a break from school due to poor health and wanting to get it back together, but I'm struggling hard right now. I've been off of my medicine for half a year now because they stopped being effective and more and more side affects were popping up instead. So my body's been adjusting to the lack of it. Not very well it seems, but it's still better than having those side affects. Ugh. I'm tired of being controlled by medication that alters my mind. Withdrawal sucks ass though. 

I've also been dealing with some social problems again. Losing friends and also losing the ability to trust one again and the possibility that I might lose another person I cherish a lot... I've let people too close again and it hurts. So I'm kind of running away from people right now. I know it's not healthy and I shouldn't be doing that, but I find that to be my reaction when I'm afraid of losing people. Defense mechanism I picked up along the way. I'm trying really hard not to, but it's so difficult.

And last week I found out I lost two pounds and that threw me over the edge. So I'm in very dangerous territory with my weight again. (I don't want to say what I'm at because it scares the hell out of me.) I've been having meltdowns a lot over the past week (at least one a day) and have to deal with having at least three minor panic attacks a day. My parents have been trying to help and one of my friends as well, but it's really hard to keep up. It's hard to even just talk both verbally or typing but I'm forcing myself to. 

So I'm closing commissions until I get this stuff settled. It's kind of hard to draw when you're shaking off and on after all. I'll still get my current projects done though.
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Undertale 'His Theme' & 'Hopes and Dreams' Remix


SpeedFreakKai's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
United States
A random girl who likes to look at pictures and play video games all the time. :P Currently in college and working on an Associates Degree in Art. I am very frank and hot headed for an asian girl. hehe Can be pretty shy at times so you might have to really prod at me to start talking a lot. I love my friends more than myself! hah

Catch me sometime!

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ClassyNerd16 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016  Student Writer
Thanks for the fave. :) My apologies for the lateness of this note. 
Malleni-Stock Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
:+fav: Thank you ! I wish you a wonderful new year moomin-hug
ivoturk Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks a lot for faving my work!
Sventine Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for faving Breeze :rose: :+fav: :w00t: :blackrose:
SpeedFreakKai Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome. :3
Esiur Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2015
Thank you so much for the watch! I really appreciate it C: 
SpeedFreakKai Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome. :D
NSolanki Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2015   Photographer
Thank you for the favourite add :)
SpeedFreakKai Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome! :D
deepak4ualys Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2015
Thank you for the fav! Heart
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